I know. It’s terrible. And honestly, Jo and Phoebe posting on theirs is the only thing that really reminded me. So, I thought I’d give a quick update on my long hiatus.

We went to our cousin’s wedding at this super old cathedral with amazing grounds and stone walls and spiral staircases and old organ pipes. It was gorgeous. Here’s the catch: the bride is Catholic.

We’re not.

Actually, in that side of the family, we’re the only ones who could be called “religious” at all, and we’re Baptist, the absolute furthest denomination from Catholic. The priest sang the ceremony. There was a lot of waving of goblets and bowing going on. Bride’s side of the church participated in everything dutifully, down to the smallest children singing from memory. Our side of the church looked at each other in confusion and slight amusement. And the priest didn’t end his prayers. You’d be the last one with your head down because he never said “Amen,” he just went back to talking to the couple.

Anyway. The reception was equally beautiful and held at the ritzy country club where they met (as employees). The only downside was the DJ kept turning up the music, despite requests to turn it down. I literally lost my hearing for a while.

Fireworks tent has come and gone, with the only criminal activity happening at the tent manned by 19-year-olds. Typical. We’re hopefully moving that one to a different parking lot next year to help that.

So, I was stupid and rejoicing in the fact that I had been neglecting my vitamins completely (not that it’s good in itself, but wait), and my meds, and having caffeine for 2 weeks with no anxiety side effects. No panic attacks for like, 2 months.

Enter work.

So lately, my…. supervisor? has been having me follow her around trying to learn some of the stuff she does. Let’s call her Monica, because she reminds me of Monica from Friends. Anyway, Monica does the work of approximately 6 people. She’s high up in our company working on the merger and website project, which is the project I was brought in for. She’s got me following her to some meetings, listening in while condescending men from India mumble into our conference call and expect us to understand them. I’m pretty good with accents, but those would be difficult in person, let alone over a phone call. I don’t really understand the stuff, but she asks at the end, I say no, she recaps, I smile and nod and ask her what to do, she lays out step-by-step instructions, I follow them, she’s happy.

Then Wednesday hit.

Monica has been working near our old house in a big huge meeting of a bunch of people from all over the country/world from this company trying to test everything and see what’s working and what’s not. Basically, meetings with hot-shots all day every day for 4-5 weeks. My boss came up to me Wednesday afternoon and informed me that they would like me to go there and follow her around and shadow her and absorb as much as I could.

Naturally, I started having an anxiety attack in front of my boss.

It was like my worst nightmare situation. He was super cool about it, I just told him I wasn’t good with change. He reassured me while I pretended I wasn’t about to hyperventilate. Makenna then kept an eye on me the rest of the day, talking me through things and making sure I was ok. I wasn’t, she knew it. Monica gave me the details later over the phone. I spent the rest of the day being not ok.

Thursday happened. I walked in and my other coworker, Ian, was there. That helped. He’s super sweet and it gave me a friendly face. One of our other coworkers was there too, but he’s… well, lately he’s been taking a long walk off a short pier career-wise. Monica’s ready to kill him. It was stupid. I worked on exactly the same stuff there that I would at my office, only I did it in an uncomfortable banquet chair. Luckily, Ian and I both had to leave at noon. It helped. He was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed. It was just better that way.

Friday I told my boss I wasn’t the one for that role. It was liberating. He was super amazing about it and appreciated me coming to him to tell him. There was more to it, but I seriously feel so much better. They kept saying how smart I was and how fast I catch on and that I was the most qualified person because I understood more of it than anyone else. If that’s the case, we’re screwed. No one else on our team can follow directions? Because that’s all I do. I told him I didn’t really get it. He’s going to find someone who hopefully does.

Today, I got Indy from the airport. His dear friend was in a bad motorcycle accident the other night and passed yesterday. I hate the reason, and I know he’s crushed, but it was good to see him again.

So, that’s it for now. Sorry for the long wait, and I’ll try to post again soon.