Lots of news for this post, so it will probably rant and ramble a bit because, if you haven’t figured this out by now, that’s how I roll. I will, however, endeavor to maintain some semblance of order and not bore you all with too many details. Suffice it to say, there’s a lot I’m leaving out.

My new job started last Monday while my parents were up in the UP visiting Fay. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been really struggling with anxiety lately. The vitamin B seemed to be helping, but Mom wasn’t thinking and took that with her. Oi. So I was without that, and without my parents as I tried not to completely melt down about my first day at my new (albeit temp) job. To top it all off, my period started (I’ve officially become one of those people who will openly just say that on my blog… when did that happen?).

Monday was…interesting. I arrived at the temp place (late, cuz life) at about 7:00am. Too early. Haven’t had to do that since I worked at the daycare. Walked in and found the woman who supervised my internship last fall! That was a much-needed surprise. Turns out 5 of us were starting at the same time, which was much better than my expected solitary orientation. We went to one business to get our first badges to show we had our background checks done, then to the company we’re working at for our real badges, then a meeting with our boss, a brief tour, our temporary cubicles (permanent weren’t ready yet), and all that fun stuff.

Meetings with our new team eventually resulted in me getting too cold. This was partly due to the fact that I was fighting a cold still, meaning that I get cold suuuuuper easily. The problem with that? When I get cold, I am more prone to anxiety attacks. Which I then pretty much had for the rest of the day because we had so much to take in. Also, the woman who gave us the tour/orientation had never done it before, so she bounced all over the place, adding to my confusion and stress.

Monday night once my parents were home and I got home, I pretty much melted. I kept breaking down over and over. Like, uncontrollable. It was bad.

Tuesday, I talked to one of the women in our group, she had the same problem. After a while, she was so overloaded that she shut down and stayed that way the rest of the night. Less popsicle-like than me, but everyone’s different. That made me feel better. However, by that night, I had a repeat of Monday.

Wednesday was even better, and by then we were actually working, but again I melted. I started the day by reading a devotional book, as I had been. I also mentally used the Alice in Wonderland quote/method of believing 6 impossible things. Mine are a bit more personal, and I don’t feel like sharing them all right now, but two of them were:

  1. Today is going to be a good day
  2. You will make mistakes, and that’s ok

It worked until the evening, then it stopped working.

Mom finally said what I had been thinking: it wasn’t anxiety, it was depression. And no, I haven’t said any of this yet, so this is new to… everyone.

We scheduled an appointment with the doctor, but I don’t know for sure yet.

By Friday, my period had stopped, and I started feeling human again.

This week, work has been great. Actually, we’ve driven my supervisor crazy because even last week we had pushed the limits of how much work they had for us. Initially, they had 4 people waiting in the wings to join us. However, we had done so much by Friday, that they cancelled those people and were scrambling to get things ready for us to work on.

We are migrating an old website to a new one. What that means is that they took the content of the old website, staged it in Word documents, and we’re taking the staging documents and putting them into the new website templates. The staging documents have to have the image numbers put in, and those images have to be created and uploaded to the site builder for us to build the pages.

Yeah, we passed the design team. We’re now finishing allllll the pages, images or not.

Good news: As soon as my period ended, I felt fine. Well, like a day later, but still. This week, I feel great. I went into the doctor, and they told my mom the wrong date. The nurses are idiots, but the doctor (new one, I’m switching cuz my current one is impossible to get into anymore) is the mom of a friend I grew up with. She would have taken me anyway, but I forgot my ID and insurance. Yay. So, appointment in a couple days, and I think that more than anything I just need the medicine that calms you during an episode. I don’t know.

At any rate, I now like my job. Initially I was going to be moving cubicles, but after moving back and forth a few times, they realized it was stupid because I was in the exact spot I needed to be in, and the woman who was going to take my cubicle was no longer moving there. So I kept my spot right across from the guy teaching us everything. He’s cool. He also seems to trust me and is having me start proofreading everyone’s work with him and one other person once we get to that step. Hopefully that leads to more good things.

It also means I was the first person to find out that one woman was… no longer working with us. She was really nice, but by this week I realized that the lights flickered. Also, I caught her doing one of the most basic tasks painfully wrong. When I told the supervisors (because they genuinely needed to know so we could fix everything she had worked on so far, not because I’m a fink), they told me she’d only done about 5 pages so far. By then, I’d finished about 70. The next slowest person was into the 40s. So, she was asked to leave by the temp company we’re working through. She was actually relieved. They all agreed it wasn’t a good fit, and she left without a word. It was kinda strange, and I feel bad it didn’t work out for her, but I’m also kinda glad they did it. Now hear me out. I’ve worked with people who won’t fire anyone even if they don’t do their job. By recognizing people aren’t able to keep up and handling the situation, it shows an appreciation for those of us who do. Also, it’s incredibly unfair for me to be making the same amount of money as her when I’m doing 14 times more work. Literally.

Weird discovery: one of the guys I work with has the exact same name as a guy I went to college with. Not the same guy, but same name. He did, however, go to the same co-op as us, just a couple years before we started. It’s a very small world.

Other good news!

Drumroll please!

I got a car!!! Woot! I had yet another guy try to scam me, so we decided to check out this old Jeep at a nearby lot. I wasn’t feeling comfortable with the Pontiac we had seen a couple weeks ago. So, we drove the 2006 Jeep Liberty and it was pretty decent, if a bit older than I wanted to go. They also had a 2012 Ford Fusion sitting there. So we test drove that. It was fabulous. About 83k miles, fantastic condition, more comfortable than most furniture. I was in love. And the best part? It was $3,000 below the KBB price. I’m super stoked. We realized the reason he sold it so cheap was not just that it was a repo, but also because he doesn’t’ like Fords. We do. It’s also waaaaaay nicer than I thought I could get, even if it was over what Grandma had given me. Not by much though.

Yesterday I got to drive it to work, and of course as I left to go to the work party, the check engine light came on. Oi. So Mom and Dad took that to get it diagnosed while I work on the bulletin. Turns out it was nothing. Well, possibly an emissions leak but it’s too small to even worry about. I’m happy.

Also, Fay is home this weekend! Lots of fun stuff going on around here. Grandpa decided to stop by…. joy. And then almost as soon as he left, Grandma came over. Initially, she was going to stay for dinner, but she was tired so she left a bit early. But that’s my update. New job, new car, same life.

Thanks for listening. I’ll post a picture of the car later, but it’s 49* outside right now and I’m lazy. Instead, here’s a picture of baby bunnies in glasses.